How do you move your relationship to the next level?
Our resident dating experts Kevin Darling and Christine Rose give a male and female view on your dating dilemmas.…
25 Comments
Dear Lady and The Scamp,
I am a male, aged 26. I have a girlfriend, and we have been seeing each other for seven months now, but there’s no sex!
She wants to have sex and I do too, but she sees it as impossible because I don’t have my own room/home. I stay with a friend and the place is so inconvenient, plus it’s also a workplace.
She hates the word ‘lodge’ or doing it somewhere else. What can I do? I am afraid I might take too long to get a room and she’ll find happiness somewhere else.
Matthew
Kevin says:
This is silly. It can't be that hard to find somewhere. You need to start thinking outside the box. Stay at a friend's for the night, save up for a hotel room, or give your roommate 20 quid to make himself scarce for a few hours (or minutes). If you want something badly enough, you'll find a way. Like when George Michael used that toilet. You say you live in a workplace? Surely there must be a bed there, with some privacy, somewhere? Or are you kipping in the shop window at H&M, wedged in alongside some dummies?
To be brutally honest, I have a nagging feeling there is more going on here than the lack of a room. Could there be another reason she doesn't want to have sex with you? Are you too pushy? Too smelly? Do you excessively say the word "lodge"? It sounds a bit like she's making excuses. If you did book a hotel, I wouldn't be surprised if she found another reason not to do it - like she's too tired or she's unsettled because the man of the front desk looks like Jeremy Beadle.
Because really there are all sorts of places you could have sex. Be imaginative... on a beach, in a lift, up a tree. Wherever you choose to do this deed, do it quick. Because seven months is a long time, and there are lots of men out there with their own room. And if you're that desperate you can use my place for a couple of hours, for a fee. Let me know.
Christine says:
Seven months? One of you is being very patient here and I can’t quite work out which one. OK, I can see if you don’t even have your own room that your girlfriend might be feeling a little exposed, shall we say. You don’t have to get a penthouse apartment but your own room is the minimum you need if you realistically expect to get any action. Do you really think she is going to want to do it on the kitchen table while your flatmate is reaching for the Marmite? Or in the lounge while everyone is watching ‘Come Dine With Me’? Even if your friend does go out she’s probably worried that he might pop back to get his wallet and you’ll be caught in an uncompromising position. Some women like the element of risk and for others, it can turn them colder than Christmas at the Rooneys.
However, I do feel as though she likes to say ‘no way’ but she isn’t really coming up with many other solutions. If you can’t afford to move then you might just have to spend a bit of money in the meantime taking her out and ending up at a hotel. Don’t feel bad about this, essentially that’s what hotels are for. They’re for people that are bored of/don’t want to/can’t have sex at home. And grumpy businessmen, who would be having sex in their hotel room if they could. It is up to you to make it feel romantic, not seedy and take your time if she’s nervous. By that I mean, take her to a Holiday Inn, not a Holiday Inn Express. I think you know what I’m saying…
Have a dating dilemma you'd like solved? Ask our resident agony aunt/uncle for an honest, heartfelt and humorous response. Send your questions to lady.scamp@yahoo.co.uk
Or check out past responses to readers' dating dilemmas.
Looking for love? Meet your match today with Match.com.
I am a male, aged 26. I have a girlfriend, and we have been seeing each other for seven months now, but there’s no sex!
She wants to have sex and I do too, but she sees it as impossible because I don’t have my own room/home. I stay with a friend and the place is so inconvenient, plus it’s also a workplace.
She hates the word ‘lodge’ or doing it somewhere else. What can I do? I am afraid I might take too long to get a room and she’ll find happiness somewhere else.
Matthew
Kevin says:
This is silly. It can't be that hard to find somewhere. You need to start thinking outside the box. Stay at a friend's for the night, save up for a hotel room, or give your roommate 20 quid to make himself scarce for a few hours (or minutes). If you want something badly enough, you'll find a way. Like when George Michael used that toilet. You say you live in a workplace? Surely there must be a bed there, with some privacy, somewhere? Or are you kipping in the shop window at H&M, wedged in alongside some dummies? To be brutally honest, I have a nagging feeling there is more going on here than the lack of a room. Could there be another reason she doesn't want to have sex with you? Are you too pushy? Too smelly? Do you excessively say the word "lodge"? It sounds a bit like she's making excuses. If you did book a hotel, I wouldn't be surprised if she found another reason not to do it - like she's too tired or she's unsettled because the man of the front desk looks like Jeremy Beadle.
Because really there are all sorts of places you could have sex. Be imaginative... on a beach, in a lift, up a tree. Wherever you choose to do this deed, do it quick. Because seven months is a long time, and there are lots of men out there with their own room. And if you're that desperate you can use my place for a couple of hours, for a fee. Let me know.
Christine says:
Seven months? One of you is being very patient here and I can’t quite work out which one. OK, I can see if you don’t even have your own room that your girlfriend might be feeling a little exposed, shall we say. You don’t have to get a penthouse apartment but your own room is the minimum you need if you realistically expect to get any action. Do you really think she is going to want to do it on the kitchen table while your flatmate is reaching for the Marmite? Or in the lounge while everyone is watching ‘Come Dine With Me’? Even if your friend does go out she’s probably worried that he might pop back to get his wallet and you’ll be caught in an uncompromising position. Some women like the element of risk and for others, it can turn them colder than Christmas at the Rooneys.
However, I do feel as though she likes to say ‘no way’ but she isn’t really coming up with many other solutions. If you can’t afford to move then you might just have to spend a bit of money in the meantime taking her out and ending up at a hotel. Don’t feel bad about this, essentially that’s what hotels are for. They’re for people that are bored of/don’t want to/can’t have sex at home. And grumpy businessmen, who would be having sex in their hotel room if they could. It is up to you to make it feel romantic, not seedy and take your time if she’s nervous. By that I mean, take her to a Holiday Inn, not a Holiday Inn Express. I think you know what I’m saying…
Have a dating dilemma you'd like solved? Ask our resident agony aunt/uncle for an honest, heartfelt and humorous response. Send your questions to lady.scamp@yahoo.co.uk
Or check out past responses to readers' dating dilemmas.
Looking for love? Meet your match today with Match.com.
25 comments
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0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentPatricia Report AbuseHe defo needs a wardrobe overhaul..then they might move to the next level.
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentA Yahoo! User Report Abuse
why not book a nice hotel for the evenng..
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentPhilip E.A.Allie Report Abuse
Are the two of you vergins, and how old is your gf ? As for you,age 26 means an adult , and she should surely not be your first love. If you two desperately needed sex you will find a way out of the box. Take her to a night club, te back seat of a cab, the beaches, the alleys. If you dont, somebody else will do your home work for you, and you will looses her.
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 1 users disliked this commentJOHN Report Abuse
I've been married for seven years and im dating a girl whom i used to go out with before i got married.
Replies (1)
and i love this girl but i still to keep my family together,should i continue with other girl because i love her please advice. - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentJuma Report Abuse
she ever calls me often but i have not told her about sex does she need it?
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentA Yahoo! User Report Abuse
Why do you have to wait to see his reaction before expressing your own??? Is he such the meister in the relationship that you are unable to equally share your feelings??
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentJamie Le'Paul Report Abuse
In my experience, if a woman really likes a guy, or even if she just thinks hunky, then after 7 months she should have already given into to a guys advances. I can recall many instances where "no room was required" and even if it was an over night trip to the seaside was more than enough. Actually that can be really romantic, and indeed "has been" for me in the past.
Reply
I will say though that any couple desiring to be serious about being together will soon shack up together if they really want to...
So I have to ask myself; is there some reason she seems unable to find a solution to this minor problem herself or is she truly not looking fora sexual relationship with this guy ?? - 0 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentRobert Report Abuse
She is trying to have her way out by putting these conditions
Reply - 0 users liked this comment 1 users disliked this commentvinciane ginette michele Report Abuse
well done to you guys!!! been together for 7 months without sex is astonishing for me ... At least you guys should really think very well about it before engaging yourselves into any sexual activities like you said, you both want to have sex but make sure you are really ready... You never know if the first day you two have sex, she gets pregnant after three days. Are you ready for a baby? if yes is the baby going to come in a comfortable world, if no, then make sure you use contraceptions. these are some of the questions you should be asking yourselves.
Reply
If she wants it, find a way to give it to her, before she decides to get it from someone else.. - 2 users liked this comment 0 users disliked this commentNatasha Report Abuse
Does she not have a room?!
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